Top 20 annoying things about movies and TV

I am lazy at the best of times and winter only adds to this sluggishness. Why would I want to go anywhere when it’s warm right here on my couch? Thus, I have put in long (not-so) hard hours to put this list together. 

The top 20 annoying things about movies and TV: 

1. When they sleep next to someone (especially when it’s a new lover) and wake up in the morning in the exact same spot under their arm. That doesn’t happen.
2. Two words: Morning breath. Doesn’t seem to exist in Hollywood.
3. Why does no one drive manual cars unless the movie is about cars?
4. When they brush their teeth it never gets foamy and they don't rinse.
5. The way when they have sex they just seem to finish at the same time. Then then the angle at which the guy rolls off seems like it would cause some sort of penis breakage.
6. Oh, and they keep their bra on while doing it. If they don’t want to show the world their boobs, fine, but just angle the camera differently or something because the bras come off. Has no one in LA land had sex before? Do they just have Barbie and Ken bits down there?
7. No one steers the steering wheel like that, you psychopath. 
8. The way they just let people run away after an argument. Like…they’re not gone. THEY’RE RIGHT THERE! You CAN catch them. (My poor flatmates have to deal with me practically screaming at the television all the time.)
9. At the end of a phone conversation they all seem to just hang up without saying goodbye. Or if they’ve made plans, they don’t say where they’ll meet or what time or anything like that. What the hell? 
10. Farts are only ever a part of the plot or helping to define a character. Sometimes farts just happen. I think movies need to explore that in a really relaxed way.
11. What’s with the way they shower? Is it just me or do people not shower like that? And thanks to scary movies, I am an adult who is too afraid to close my eyes in the shower now.
12. Turn the lights on when you get home, idiot. No one walks through the house when it’s dark like that. What are you, a cat? If only you could hear the tension building background music.
13. Spontaneous song and dance. I’ll believe a War of the Worlds-esque situation before I’ll ever believe that people will just start randomly singing a song and completing a choreographed dance at the same time. Musicals annoy me now that I’m older. I just can’t see past it.
14. Empty coffee cups. Nothing, I repeat, nothing annoys me more than when people are supposed to be drinking or carrying hot tea or coffee, yet the cups are quite clearly, even visibly, empty. Come on guys. Seriously. No…seriously. To quote Friday: “Use water. It won’t hurt.”
15. When the camera is shooting someone from the front, and then it cuts to their back - and so on, and so forth – and their hair is different from both angles. 
16. When you see the microphone at the top of the screen.
17. When people in high school look like they are around 30.
18. How big kids’ rooms are. No kid has ever had a room that big, ever. What’s with this little jerks and big rooms?
19. No-tongue kisses.
20. Sarah Jessica Parker's hands.