G-Strings and Wishes Gone Wrong

I was at a café in Bondi a few weeks ago, casually enjoying banana bread and a cup of tea, when I was struck with a social dilemma which left my mind stumbling for days.

Before me was a fairly overweight girl wearing a tiny purple g-string bikini, a small white t-shirt and black platform thongs- and she was walking AWAY from the beach. I was utterly horrified and if I wasn’t so hungry I would have been turned right off my food.

Here is the question- How far does one have to be from the beach before it becomes socially unacceptable to be wearing such questionable nothingness?
The café I was dining at was at least 300 metres from the beach and I deem that distance enough for this woman to start thinking about donning some pants.

I mean, I could handle a bikini top and some shorts. That is acceptable in any coastal area. She could walk for miles along the coast in a bikini top and shorts without a problem. Take that inland though, and she faces problems. Within the suburb of Bondi Beach, it is fine. Bondi Junction is a whole new ballgame.

But come on! A t-shirt with g-string and platform thongs…well, other than the sandy shores of the beach, I just see absolutely no need for it. And at the risk of appearing sizeist, I think the bigger the woman, the smaller the gap between being undressed on the beach and needing clothes on the street.

FAT= get dressed before leaving the beach.

SLIM= depending on bodily elements, it might be a good thing if you leave the clothes off around the beach areas. People might be a little happier for having seen you.

After seeing this girl, I began watching passers by with greater interest. I then became bored with watching everyday happenings and started wishing for something funny to happen. I willed someone to fall over. Love a good stack.
A minute later a little boy came running down the hill, tripped over his own feet and slid along the gravel. I couldn’t help but think I had caused this.

Moral of the story?
No g-string in street scene and be careful what you wish for.*

* Now I wonder- had someone wished for the g-string girl to walk past and been horribly disappointed when she turned out to be fat, just as I had wished for someone to fall over and felt terrible when it was a child…? Next time I wish for something I will be painfully specific.